I didn’t want to take antidepressants anymore and feel like a zombie.
There was a time in my life where anxiety & panic attacks were in control of me. I was unable to go through my day without feeling like an elephant was sitting on my chest or where my body just felt anxious and nervous. I barely slept through the night and I was lucky if I even had 5 hours of sleep. I turned to my doctor and therapist for help and they had recommended antidepressants. I do feel like they helped, and I was finally able to get through my day secured in my skin.
However, as time went on I found that the pills may have worked a little too well as I soon found myself emotionless. I stopped crying for moments that I would normally tear up for. I stopped laughing for moments that were very hilarious and I couldn’t even force a chuckle. Lastly, I stopped feeling love for others, my children, and myself. As if I was waking up, just to wake up, I no longer felt any emotions for anything. My everyday actions were meaningless and the person I was staring at in the mirror felt like a stranger. It was the most disconnected feeling I have ever felt in my life, and I knew deep down inside this had to change. It was in this moment that I started to seek an alternate form of healing. I started to weene off the medications and researched other alternative healing modalities that were not recognized by western medicine. This was the beginning of my deep spiritual awakening...